Begging is like asking for alms, you beg in dire situation. It was a pride swallowing to do, but I think, after having done such is a kind of learning that I can swallow my pride and beg for the person I love.
I have known he has another girl, according to him when I asked him if he has, but it was only recently that I found the courage to face my guilt over that girl and stop meddling in their relationship. I maybe ahead but because I let go I don’t have the right to come back anytime and claim him.
It hurts to know when the guy you love, love someone more than you. I know that he will never choose me, I still asked if we could be together, and I will wait for him until he is free again, but even if I know the answer, it still hurts when you hear it, that I am not the woman he will choose at the end of the day.
Well, he did not dumped me altogether, he also choose me, to be a spare tire. That hurts even more. At first, I considered it, but as days goes by, I realized why would I choose to be treated like a trash by the very person I love? He may say he loves me, but now I know it is only a line, a phrase that holds no meaning at all.
If I am worthy of someones love and be loved, this person will never allow me to beg. He will willingly and selflessly give his love without reservation, without condition.
When I thought about how I cried myself to bed, and think about those tears that won’t stop flowing because of the pain I’ve felt that day, I could regret for the waste I made. It was a waste of tears. A waste of emotion. And most especially, A waste of love.